Thanks to my Dear Friend Pat, (who knows exactly how heavy a load can be). Pat sent me this today and it is exactly what I need to hear!

The Ant and the Contact lens: A TRUE STORY

Brenda was almost halfway to the top of the tremendous granite cliff. She was standing on a ledge where she was taking a breather during this, her first rock climb. As she rested there, the safety rope snapped against her eye and knocked out her contact lens.

‘Great’, she thought. “Here I am on a rock ledge, hundreds of feet from the bottom and hundreds of feet to the top of this cliff, and now my sight is blurry.” She looked and looked, hoping that somehow it had landed on the ledge. But it just wasn't there.

She felt the panic rising in her, so she began praying. She prayed for calm, and she prayed that she may find her contact lens. When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the lens, but it was not to be found.

Although she was calm now that she was at the top, she was saddened because she could not clearly see across the range of mountains. She thought of the bible verse ‘The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth’.
She thought, “Lord, You can see all these mountains. You know every stone and leaf, and you know exactly where my contact lens is. Please help me.”

Later, when they had hiked down the trail to the bottom of the cliff they met another party of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One of them shouted out, “Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?”
Well, that would be startling enough, but you know why the climber saw it? An ant was moving slowly across a twig on the face of the rock, carrying it!

The story doesn't end there.

Brenda's father is a cartoonist. When she told him the incredible story of the ant, the prayer, and the contact lens, he drew a cartoon of an ant lugging that contact lens with the caption, 'Lord, I don't know why You want me to carry this thing. I can't eat it, and it's awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me to do; I'll carry it for You. '

I think it would do all of us some good to say, 'God, I don't know why You want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it’s awfully heavy. But, if You want me to carry it, I will. '

God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

Yes, I do love GOD. He is my source of existence and my Savior. He keeps me functioning each and every day. Without Him, I am nothing, but with Him...I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. (Phil. 4:13)

Thanks again Pat!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving!

Robert and I would like to wish everyone a very happy Thanksgiving. We have so much to be thankful for, family, friends, our Church and the Doctors and nurses that take excellent care of Robert. We thank God for putting these people in our lives. We will be home for Thanksgiving and look forward to family coming up, but will miss the ones we are not able to be with.

My Grandmother fell and broke her leg; she had surgery in Little Rock Friday and will either spend Thanksgiving in the hospital or a rehab facility. Either way, she, my Dad and Aunt Sharon will not be with family this holiday. Please pray for a speedy recovery for her and safe travels for them.

Robert had a CT scan last Wednesday. The results are some lymph nodes were unremarkable (which means they are too small to measure) and no change in the larger mass. Dr Nadler discussed 3 options for Robert. He told us to enjoy our Thanksgiving, discuss our options and let him know what we decide when we go back December 1st. and then he will let us know what his recommendation will be when he hears what we have decided. Robert has an apt. with his ENT Tuesday, and we are anxious to hear Dr. Oxford’s opinion on what our choices are.

Robert has been feeling really lousy past couple of weeks from the really strong chemo. But the good news is Dr. Nadler told him he would never have to take the high doses of Cistplatin again. The side effects are just too much for him. Robert’s weight was 167 last week and his energy level is very low. In another week, Robert should start feeling better with more energy. His white blood count was low, so they gave him another booster shot. Unfortunately it does not give him any energy, but does help with the blood count. Cancer sucks and I hate it! It is really hard to watch my husband suffer, but we have to trust all this will be worth it and better days ahead. Robert reads the blog, so please feel free to drop him a line. Happy Thanksgiving to all and safe travels.

Love,
Robert and Judy

Update!

I realized it has been a while since the last update! Well let's see. Robert has had 4 treatments of Cistplatin and Taxotere and 5 treatments of Vectibix. His last treatment was yesterday. He usually starts to feel bad about 4 or 5 days after the treatment and the side effects are lasting longer each time, but he has had a bad day today. He says he just feels lousy. We have discussed with his Doctor what Robert's future treatments may be. We have agreed that the Cistplatin chemo he is receiving is just too strong to continue. Dr. Nadler has ordered a scan next week, so we will find out Wednesday how the treatments have done the past 5 weeks and will then discuss how we proceed from here. Before today Robert was feeling pretty good and has been able to eat. We were hoping that he would have gained 5 lbs. but he only gained 1 lb. Which is better than losing, but he needed a little more cushion heading into the next couple of weeks. Robert weighed 170. I am asking our family and dear friends to pray for Robert's continued strength, mentally as well as physically. Right now he is struggling mentally. I think the pain he has constantly is taking its toll. He really needs the scan to show the treatments are working and hopefully that will revive him again.

Happy Anniversary Roberto!

Robert and I have been married 9 years. In some ways I can not remember my life without him and in some ways I can't believe it has already been 9 years.

Robert you have changed my life so much for the better. You got me back in church and because of you I can say I have a personal relationship with my Lord and Savior. I wish I could do something as equal as that for you. It does not get any better than that. I wish I could take your pain away for a day. I am so in awe of your strength. Happy Anniversary honey. I love you!

GREAT NEWS!

Scan Results:

August scan showed Right paratracheal lymph node measured 1.9 x 1.1 cm, today’s scan now measures 0.8 x 0.4 cm. A lymph node in the aortopulmonary previously measured 1.7 x 1.0 cm and now measures 1.5 x 0.7 cm. Subcarinal lymphadenopathy previously measured 3.9 x 1.9 cm now measures 1.6 x 0.8 cm. All this means the disease has shrunk by 60%. This is better news than Dr. Nadler expected. We can not tell you how we feel right now; there are no words at all. All praise goes to God. There have been so many prayers for us and they have been answered today. We feel like we have been given a miracle. Dr. Nadler said he can now say this is potentially curable and he is giving all the credit to Robert and God. Dr. Nadler said “I have not done this", but we know without his treatment plan, well we we know his part in this...

Robert had to be at Baylor at 6:00 AM for the scan and we did not see Dr. Nadler until 12:30, we were not happy to say the least at the 4 1/2 hour wait in Dr. Nadler’s waiting room, but after that news we received we told him that we forgive him. We are now waiting for chemo and it will be a long afternoon before we get to go home and celebrate, but the wait is not so bad anymore. Robert has thrush again, but he said as soon as it's gone he will be headed to the nearest Mexican food restaurant. Robert will not have to come back to Baylor until October 19th, the plan is to continue with this plan since it is working, more chemo, but hopefully it will be more tolerable for him now.

Robert - I want you to know you are my hero, I am in awe of your strength, determination, patience and Christianity. You are truly an inspiration to me.

I Love you,
Judy

One more chemo treatment done!

One more chemo treatment done! Robert lost a 1/2 pound this week weighing in at 170.5. That does not give him any extra weight going in to this round of chemo. This is the bad stuff that will make him really sick, but hopefully now we will be better equipped if the thrush sets in, which I suspect it will. Seems he gets it every time he takes the Cystplatin and Taxotere. His hair is still falling out and after yesterday's chemo it will not be long before he looks like the butternut squash I bought yesterday at the Farmers Market. Good news, Dr. Nadler will scan him in 3 weeks to see how the cancer is reacting to the chemo.

Robert got a very nice surprise yesterday. His cousin Keith showed up during chemo for a visit. It really made Robert's day pass very quickly and he said it was just the boost he needed to lift his spirit. Keith, we can not tell you how much that meant to us for you to take the time out of your long drive to stop by and spend a couple of hours, hope you made it to Odessa safely.

Michael came yesterday and him and I spent the day together running around. He took me to a Mediterranean restaurant for lunch. It was alright, but it would not be my choice again. I was not real sure about most of the things we ate. When we got back to the hospital, he was telling Robert what we ate, and he said "we ate Lamb", I said "no I did not" and he assured me I did. Well then I was sick the rest of the day.. Yuck. I told Michael I felt like I was jipped out of a meal.. Michael and I went over to the the Farmers market for fresh vegetables and fruit, I love that place, except for everyone trying to shove samples down you that they have cut up with those nasty old rusty knives.. Neither one of us was brave enough to try anything. I am looking forward to going back next week for more goodies. Thank God for the little things, huh?

Thanks to all for your support and prayers. Love to all, Robert and Judy